Spoilers & Teasers...

Lunch - tossed salad...which consisted of brown edged lettuce, two tomatoes, FAT FREE Ranch dressing, chicken noodle soup, and scalloped potatoes. Now, how bad can THIS be? You guessed it. Apparently when you're placed on a heart floor, saying the word "salt" is a VERY VERY BAD CURSE WORD!!!! Too funny...I did eat it though!!! I found one teeny tiny packet of salt in the bottom of my purse and thought I'd found a priceless, missing diamond. Amazing how a little salt can entirely enhance the taste of foods in a way no other herb or spice can!! Ok...I'm saying too much....gotta keep my cliffhanger going for a day anyway. I'm outta here and off to sleepytown!! TTYL

Come on! You know your mouth is watering from that tangy & refreshing, GREEN BLOB of..?????!!! Nurse, Do I REALLY have to eat this? :)

Here are a few pictures I took and sent to a few people. This was only a "glimpse" into what my 5-star chef was whippin' up for me this week at Memorial Hospital down in the kitchen!!!! And, they wonder WHY? people don't want to eat it!!! How you can mess up some of these dishes is hard to fathom!!! And yet they never fail to bring something each and EVERY meal that tastes like it was cooked it dirty dishwater!!!!!

Enjoy the pics and I'll post ALL the drama that's happened this past week with my hospitalization. In short, I had a rare type of pneumonia that never cleared up, fluid to be drained off of my lungs, and have what they refer to as "transient congestive heart failure".

Lots of love, prayers, & gratitude for all of you who took the time to mention my name in prayer this week.

Mel

White Shoes...Permitted!

Has it REALLY been since July 18th that I've posted on my blog???? Oh my!! I guess I could come up with some really good excuses, but I figure I'd just save my time to post about what's been going on in our life since I last posted.

The main thing (which I despise), has been that I've been in and out of the hospital twice. I was admitted about three weeks ago and had a nice 10 day stay with my hospital friends. I had been feeling yucky for about a week or so before I was admitted...starting running high fevers...got a bit delirious (according to my husband & siblings :) )...had a terrible sore throat, earaches & cough...continuous nausea & vomiting...but the last straw that had us calling 911 was that my blood pressure bottomed out to around 80/40. Now, I know you're thinking, "You dummy, why didn't you go to the doctor before it got this bad?" Well, those of you who know me well know that I can, at times, be a bit stubborn...and I just DID NOT want to go to the hospital AGAIN!! So, with every passing day I would tell myself, "If I'm not better tomorrow, I'll call the doctor." And those "one day at a time" promises turned into getting really, really sick.

So, after much cajoling from my sweet sister who happened to stop by and visit me, we called 911 to come and take me to the hospital ER. Turns out I had walking pneumonia and was slapped in the ICU for 4-5 days. I was in a total of 10 days and got to come home.

I had a week of recovering and Dale had his annual male bonding trip planned. We thought I was doing better enough for him to go ahead and go on his hunting trip to Idaho, so Gentry and I stayed with mom and dad while Dale was gone. BUT...apparently the pneumonia wasn't done with me! :)

So, this past Wednesday I went BACK to the ER via ambulance because my BP had gone from 162/113 to 82/46 within an hour's time. I started having severe chest pain and trouble breathing, so off I was carted again and this time my liver decided to act up. My enzymes went sky high and kept climbing for two days. Apparently if you have a really high BP that goes low really quickly, your organs get deprived of oxygen and they go into shock. So, I went into liver shock. I was placed again in a step-down ICU and hooked up to all kinds of monitors, having a battery of blood tests done to try and figure out what was going on. When they listened to my lungs they told me I still had some lingering effects of the pneumonia and put me back on the antibiotics for that as well.

With each day my liver enzymes started coming down and by yesterday I was begging to be discharged home and they finally let me come home. My enzymes were still elevated, but told me I could go home with the promise of getting labwork done to check the levels within a week.

So.......I am home and so glad to be back in my own comfy bed! I am weak and still in some chest pain from the lingering pneumonia, but I'm grateful and thankful that I didn't have to spend the holiday today trying to enjoy the hospital food!!

My sweet sister had a Labor Day get together at her house for our family today and I was DELIGHTED to be able to go...even though I was in my pajamas curled up on the couch all day or on the front porch watching everyone fish from the lake. We had such a great day today.

My heart is always full and I'm always a little emotional after I get to spend time with all of my family being together. My brother, Jared, has recently moved to Florida for a new job and I've missed him so much. But he flew in this weekend to surprise his wife and he got to be there with us today. It was SOOOOOO good to see him!!

The highlight of the day was when my baby boy caught the biggest fish of the day! Everyone brought their fishing poles to fish out of the lake that Charles and Christy has there in front of their beautiful country home. So, my little Gent-man would not be left out of the fun. So, we packed up his tackle box and $19.00 Superman fishing pole and he had a blast. Christy and I were sitting in the "Texas Room" catching up and all of a sudden someone comes and hollers at the window, "Y'all come out here quick!!" And Gentry had pulled in a HUGE catfish with his little, cheap fishing pole. It was over a foot long. Dale said he kept "trash talking" saying, "I'm catchin' a big one!...Here it comes...Get on my line, big fish!!...and no one was really paying attention to him. Then, all of a sudden Dale looks and sees that Gentry's about to lose his pole trying to reel it in, so he goes over there to help him...and my baby blue pulled in the biggest fish of the day!!!! I was so proud of him and he was squealin' and jumping up and down saying, "I caught the big one, I caught the big one!!" I didn't have my camera there today, but there were lots of other cameras clickin' so as soon as I get some I'll post them on here.

I got to talk to one of my favorite people in the whole world today too...my Uncle Ken. It was so good to hear his deep, soft, southern voice telling me he'd been thinking about me and praying for me. He is so special to me and plays a HUGE role in the reason that I still am living for God today. He never wants to take the credit when I've told him that over the years, but he and I both know those talks we had when I was a floundering teenager trying to decide what to do with my life changed the course of my life and the decisions I made consequently. I love him dearly and was glad I got to talk with him today.

What else??? Oh the food!!! How could I forget!! My brother-in-law, Charles fired up the grill for us today and we had what he called a "Gourmet Country Meal"...and boy did it EVER hit the spot. Hamburgers, Hot Dogs, Broccoli-Rice Casserole, Mac & Cheese, Baked Beans, Potato Salad, Cole Slaw, Party Potatoes (yummy, Christine!), Brownies, & Yellow Fudge Marble Cake w/ Milk Chocolate Frosting!! And did I mention that "gourmet country" was 5-star in my book! :) Thanks everyone!

We put candles in the cake to celebrate the birthdays we missed this year- Jared, Dale, Christine & Charles...we're sorry for the "community cake", y'all, but by September we're worn out! :) I guess next year we won't celebrate the early birthdays so that we'll have enough energy for you mid-year peeps! :)

Well, my honey is making some chicken nuggets and fries for a late night snack, so I'm gonna wrap this up for now. Dale, Gentry and I are headed down to mom and dad's "crunchy" house tomorrow to spend the day with mom and dad. That's what Gentry calls mom and dad's house they have in "the holler". He calls their house in Belleville "the city house"...and their retirement home "the crunchy house" (he means country house). So, I'm gonna load up the car with pillows and blankets and ride down and spend the day relaxing with my sweet mama!

Thanks to EVERYONE who's been sending thoughts and prayers my way over the past weeks. I cannot begin to say how much it means to me. I hope to stay in better touch than I have over the past 6 weeks. Keep in touch, everyone! :)

Love always - Mel

P.S. Funny Gentry Story -

Dale was going to church yesterday morning with Gentry and the moon was still in the sky. Gentry, being the son of an avid outdoorsman & hunter, pulled out his imaginary rifle and "shoots the moon". He then tells Dale very matter-of-factly, "I just shot Jesus' house." Dale's eyes get big and he replies back, "Gentry! Did you shoot Jesus???!!!" And Gentry replies back, "No, but he jumped off!"

New Pictures

Road Trip with Emmy, Elephant & I-pod

He's addicted to his I-pod!

Me & My Beau

My guys - Ryan, Gentry & Dale

The Gals - Christine, Courtney, Christy, & Me

The Light of My World!

C.C.C...

Posing for momma!

Another pose!

Hey guys! Not much going on here, but I wanted to post a few pictures I've taken lately. Last night we drove up to Illinois Family Camp for the Friday night service. Dale, Gentry and I rode up with my sister, niece, brother & sis-in-law. It was about 2 1/2 hours up there and the ride up and back home was the most memorable part of the evening. We shared LOTS & LOTS of laughs and some GREAT road snacks!

Jerry Jones was the evening speaker and he preached a message called "Encore". He's STILL my favorite preacher! I'd actually heard him preach that before, but it was just as powerful last night as it was the first time I heard it. We ended our evening with a good country dinner at Cracker Barrel before we got back on the road to head south. Us girls all were sacked out by the time we got back to the house, but Ryan and Dale kept conversation going ALL THE WAY home. I honestly don't know how someone could think of that many things to talk about non-stop for three hours!!! :) My throat would be sore from talking that much! ;) He said he was just trying to keep the driver awake! Yeah, right!

So, I slept in today and have been being lazy all day long. Dale and Gentry have been working and playing outside all day long. Dale got two new beagle puppies this past week, so Gentry has laid claim to them and has been carrying them around all day today. He has taken a shine to one in particular and has named him B.J.??? Don't ask! He came up with that one on his own!

Not much else going on here. Enjoy the pics! :)

Our Week In Mississippi

What a good time we had last week when Gentry and I traveled with Dale down to his old stompin' grounds. Gentry and I had a couple of leisurely, lazy days in Baldwyn while Dale had to work for a few days. We went shopping at the mall in Tupelo, got way too many cookies at the cookie shop, rode the carousel, and played a slew of arcade games together. I enjoyed so much getting to spend the day with my little guy. We stopped for lunch at the food court and all the TV screens were tuned in to the memorial service of Michael Jackson at the Staples Center in L.A. Everyone's eyes were glued to the screens, mindlessly stuffing food into their mouths watching the "show" unfold. But, all Gentry was concerned about was riding the carousel which was in close proximity. He kept jumping up and down and asking me, "Mommy, are you done eating yet?"...over and over and over!! :)

I got to visit with some of my sisters-in-law and I made a pig out of myself with the most delicious watermelon I've had this season. Gentry got to play with Harlee & Hagen (his cousins) and Gentry and Hagen even got into a "fight" over a balloon they were chasing around the living room. My, oh my, the tempers were flarin'...and all of us were enjoying the show.

We left for Jackson on Wednesday evening to spend a few nights at Camp Meeting. We went to dinner after church on Thursday night with our friends, Wally & Vicki Tiller, who we hadn't seen in probably over 10 years. Wally employed Dale with a job when we first got married. "Tiller Remodeling" paid our bills for the first two or three years of our newlywed life. We used to have dinner with them a lot when we first got married and lived in Jackson. Their girls were just little blonde-headed princesses back then. Now, one has graduated from college and is a registered nurse, and the other one is attending a bible college! TALK ABOUT FEELING OLD!!! It was so good to be able to reconnect with them again after all our years of being away. We laughed and joked and reminisced about the good ole days, and got caught up on "life".

Then Friday, we got to spend some time with our dear friends and mentors, Bret & Dedie Cooley. He was teaching the day services at the camp meeting and so when we found out they were going to be there, we knew that we wanted to make every effort to try to see them. It was SO GOOD to reconnect with them as well. My only regret is that we didn't get to spend more time visiting.

Dale's birthday was that Thursday and we enjoyed spending the day together. We went to Stein Mart and he ended up buying ME things instead of him getting birthday gifts. I told him I didn't want him to buy me anything, but he insisted, saying I never buy myself anything. So....I very happily relented and let him spoil me a bit. Can't wait to show off my new black purse he got me too. (Thanks, baby!)

Well, I've got a couple of loads of laundry calling my name, so I better run for now. More Rutland Ramblings later! :)

Baci -

Happenings...

• Final biopsy results received on Thursday...
• Watching labwork VERY closely for the next several months and will treat with chemo according to what labwork shows...
• Next treatment may be in 4 weeks...or not for 6-12 months...I'm shooting for the latter! :)
• Spent Friday with extended family for 4th of July BBQ & fireworks show...
• Food was fabulous...company was comfortable...conversation was light...laughter & smiles were abundant...
• Little kids (& big kids) rolled down the hill at the show! ;)...
• Feasted on watermelon grown by the "Mideonites...I mean the Mennonites"! :)
• Went Saturday down to mom & dad's "country home" for another 4th party...

Mom's BBQ Pork Steaks were the hit of the day...and the chocolate eclair cake Chris made topped it off perfectly...

• Torrential rains most of the day that day, but that didn't stop the guys from exploring outside...they got soaked, but managed a few good pictures! :)
• Grandma Sullivan got to spend the day with us and she enjoyed laughing with us all day too...
• Headed back home Saturday night with tummy's full, but hearts fuller from having shared moments turned memories with loved ones...
• Gentry started running fever on the way home though and nothing worries me more than my baby getting sick...fever broke Sunday, but no idea why he keeps running fevers off & on...
• Taking him to dr. soon just for look/see...He's fine again today, Thank God!...
• I would take ALL of his sickness & pain if I could...can't stand to see my baby sick...SO THANKFUL he's healthy for the most part...been to the doctor less than 10 times in his whole life!...
• Packing & closing up shop here for the week...headed to MS with Dale & Gentry...
• Dale will work first couple of days this week...then off to JXN for a few days of Camp Meeting...
• Will get to visit with dear friends while we're down there...Looking SO forward to it...
• Will be in touch later!

Baci & Abbracci... (hugs & kisses)

Going Back To Hospital

PICTURE GENTRY TOOK OF ME THE OTHER NIGHT

So, I'd MUCH rather talk about something funny that Gentry's done, or something fun we'd done as a family this week, or something cool I found while out and about, but unfortunately, this week has forced me to take another hard look at the condition of my health and thus...this blog is an update on things.

I got home from the hospital this afternoon around 2:30 p.m. only to have my doctor call me back around 5:30 p.m. and let me know that I have to be admitted back into the hospital tomorrow morning for an intense treatment therapy for my lupus.

The preliminary results came back from my kidney biopsy that I had and it really wasn't what I was wanting to hear. I'll try to simplify as much as possible because all the medical jargon gets a little confusing after a while.

Bottom line is the lupus is very active again in my kidneys and the "filters" in the kidney that clean the blood (glomeruli)...half of them are irreparably damaged and will not ever regain function. The other half of the "filters" are having to work overtime to filter and clean my blood properly, thus putting an undue strain on my kidney function causing my creatinine to be high. I have approximately 35-40% kidney function at this time.

With lupus, my immune system is "confused" and instead of fighting off the "bad things" for my body like infections, etc, it thinks my kidneys are "bad" and my immune system is trying to "kill off" my kidneys. It "thinks" it's doing the right thing for my body, but the DNA is just faulty and reversed. THEREFORE...they are giving me an IV drug that will wipe out most of my B-cells which is part of the White Blood Cell System that produces antibodies. The goal is to suppress the immune system enough to trick the B-cells into not attacking the kidney any further and killing off the remaining function of the kidneys.

I will go back into the hospital and be hooked up to an IV which will give me this drug called "Rituximab" and then also be put on a higher IV dose of steroids. I am supposed to be in the hospital for two days and hopefully get to come back home on Saturday. The good news is it isn't like the chemo I've had in the past that makes me sick and so, so weak for months at a time. The doctor told me I will feel like I'm fighting a cold or flu for a few days, but no hair loss or throwing up like the chemo I've had in the past. This drug is mainly used to treat B-cell lymphoma, so hopefully it will be strong enough to deal with the acute process of the lupus going on in my kidneys.

I am frustrated because I feel like I've done everything I know to do as far as following dr's advice through the years, but I'm also hopeful that this new drug will work for me and preserve what kidney function I have left. So, what would the next step be if this doesn't work??? Well, I'd like not to have to even entertain the idea, but it would eventually be dialysis & hopefully a transplant.

But....we've got a long way to go before we get to that point. I feel like I'm under great care with the kidney doctor I have. He studied & did his fellowship at Washington University in St. Louis, which is one of the top 10 hospitals in the nation. So, I know he knows what he's doing. Combine all of that with prayers and lots of hope, faith & support and I think I've got a winning combination.

Gonna get some rest before my guys get in. Pretty sore from having three big needles stuck in my back yesterday. The good news is I'm not allowed to do any housework for 2 weeks...so I'm going to enjoy that for sure!!

Thanks again for your concern, prayers & well-wishes. They truly keep me going on days I'd rather not face. I hope one day I can repay all of your acts of kindness to me & my family!!

Many Blessings - Mel

"Bless The Children" - Father's Day 2009

FATHER'S DAY PICTURES - 2009 - ENJOY!

Collage of Gentry's "Moods"!!
My angel, doll-baby, stubborn, love 'em anyway "Blue Eyes"

Saying "Cheese".....

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE MY BABIES' BABY BLUES!

"I SOOOO DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS! GIMME A BREAK, DAWG!"



I gotta really cool dad! My parents had kids SO YOUNG, so there's only 21 years between us. He's still a kid at heart like me and we enjoy music together. He thinks Gentry is just about the best thing that could have happened to him. We gave him his very first GRANDSON! I love you dad, and hope to be able to spend more and more of these special occasions together.

Dad & his first-born child....Christine Elaine Sullivan-Cox

Daddy always said Christy got her big blue eyes from her mama!

Grandma Sullivan & her "Stevie"

Dad & His Mom (Grandma Sullivan)

THE FAMILY (minus a few...& we missed u2!) :)

Daddy & His Girls & "the suprise" of his life...Ryan Matthew!!

Mel #2, Dad, Christy #1, Ryan #4 (missing Jared #3 :( )

I wanna be JUST LIKE YOU DAD!!!! ????

Now there's some trouble in the making, right there!

My heart is full tonight, and sometimes what I "want" to say doesn't always pour itself out into words that I can put together. So often, I go looking for a song or poem that can say what my heart desires to say, but can't seem to find the right words from my own soul.

I was blessed to be able to spend the day with my husband...and father to Gentry. I am blessed beyond measure that Dale eased into the role of fatherhood so effortlessly and has made a little shadow out of the boy I call "mine".

So, I found a prayer written by someone else who's writings I've always admired & been inspired by. I thought it would be appropriate today to share this "prayer" with you simply entitled "Bless The Children"...which after all...is really what Father's Day is all about...if it weren't for our children, we'd have no need to celebrate this special day. Be blessed by this prayer as I am each time I read it.

"Bless The Children"

Bless the children.

Bless their questions and their un-jaded answers.

Bless their hands that hold my face

and peer guilelessly into my eyes.

Bless their lips that kiss without embarrassment,

their arms that hug without restraint,

their mouths that shape the deep truth in simple words - - -

"I love you."

Bless their minds that know no roadblocks

to their quest for knowledge,

no obstacles to their curiosity,

and no cynicism to block their trust.

While they still know purely, let the children teach us

While they believe openly, let the children pray for us.

While they trust us without restriction, let the children lead us.

While they know no disillusionment, let the children love us,

that we may healed

that we may trust again. . .

that we may regain our faith. . .
that we may recover our innocence. . .
that we may become children of the Father of Life.

Written by: Gloria Gaither

My Very Insteresting Week...

So...I got a reminder from a dear friend of mine wondering why I hadn't been blogging all the craziness going on in our lives on a daily basis. So here is my week in review...

short & sweet... :):):)

• Got to attend Sunday morning service TOGETHER as a family! That had been a while...
  
• Had a wonderful family dinner with our special dinner guest being "Our Lady of Pulley's Mill - Mrs. Naomi Robertson-Sullivan (I'll save her for another time to blog all about her precious"ness" (is that even a word???)
  
• Got a call around 2:30 p.m. Monday that the labs came back from the blood I had drawn on Friday and they think I'm in a more "ACUTE" (active) phase with the lupus actually attacking and causing damage to the kidneys. Talk about something just comin' right at ya out of left field! I was shocked and had no time to prepare for what they wanted to start very early the next morning.

• Soooooooooooo....after scheduling, re-scheduling, getting more labwork done, scheduling and then rescheduling for the final time...I will be going into the hospital next Wednesday at St. Elizabeth's Hospital (the downtown Catholic hospital) for my... drumroll.....5th! kidney biopsy. I am not excited about this AT ALL, but since it's been 12 years since my last biopsy, they feel it is time to check and see what damage in the kidney is chronic and what is new and actively trying to "kill" my kidney.
  
• I will stay in the hospital overnight and if I don't have any complications of bleeding out I will stay for a 23* observation and hopefully get to go home the next day.
  
• So....Dale came home this week thinking I was going to have the procedure done this week, and now that it's been rescheduled....again...oh...and again...he's leaving tomorrow to go back to work! :) He will take Gentry down to MS with him and let him stay with his mother while he's working, and my family will be here for me during my procedure. I will stay with my parents until Dale and Gentry get back in town.
  
• Courtney came and stayed with us for a few days during the early part of the week. We went & got pedicures done (hers for camp/mine so i'll look "pretty" while I'm having my procedure done! :) Went to Target to pick up the new Jo Bros CD, Topped it off with some yummy ice cream!!
  
• Took Gentry to Wednesday night church/school. Got there last because of some road construction on the interstate that had everything backed up. But we finally made it.
  
• Gentry's "school" teacher (Sunday School, but that's what he calls them!), is my sis, Christy. She loves that age group she's got, and Gentry LOVES going to "school" every Wednesday night that he's in town. He's always so proud to show me his pictures he made for me in school...and you better believe they go on the side of that refrigerator door!
  
• Then last night, Friday, the "fam" went to St. Louis for a Michael English Solo Concert FRONT ROW SEATS!!! He sang quite a few songs, then ministered from the word. His voice was incredible, but his anointing and ministry God has given Him through his own story of failure & God's redemption is even more amazing!
  
• Gentry enjoyed it so much...jumping...clapping...raising his pudgy little hand in the air in worship...and snappin' pictures of M.E. left and right...it finally started getting ridiculous, so I put the camera away. But then when I went back and looked at them, I was like, "Man these shots aren't too shabby for a 3 year old!
  
• We topped off our night at Red Robin to eat a late, light dinner. They have a few little arcade games you can play up front, so we played for candy, stuffed animals, little bouncy balls, and raced in "Hong Kong"! It said Gentry and I got 2nd place!???
  
• Good date/family night, but when we got home we all crashed in the bed asap!
  
• Woke up this morning VERY sick at my stomach and have been keeping my little white wastebasket close to my bed...if you know what I mean. ;)
  
• Now, Father's Day is tomorrow and I was going to go today and take Gentry and we would pick out something for Dale...it is now 12:37 a.m. Father's Day and what do I have? NOTHING! Nothing tangible anyway. But I will find someway to make it up to him...somehow ;)
  
• So, next week will be another roller coaster week again, so we'll just have to wait to see how all the cards for next week's game play out!! :) :) :)
  
• In the meantime, could someone please inform me.....how I can turn off the switch of this roller coaster ride??

Embracing the crazy, unpredictability of my interesting life!!

Blessings to you all who "take the time"...

You are SO LOVED!

Melanie